I moved to Boulder for college when I was 17. Free at last, I did some drinking and started playing around with the boys like I always wanted. On the weekends we would go out dancing all night and Coke helped me to stay up later and get my school work done - but it was too expensive. Then one night I was at a sex party and some of the boys were partying with Tina and G. I tried them both and had the best sex of my life.
I started hanging out with an older guy who knew a dealer and Tina moved right into my world and wouldn't go away. I had some crazy fun and got better grades than before - but in a few months I got that skull look and I lost a lot of weight. Pretty soon I couldn't go to class anymore because I looked so terrible. My roommates kicked me out for not paying the rent.
I moved to Denver with some guys who were into the leather scene and I got some training and lots of free drugs. I turned into a big old bottom became a real pig. One day the door was broke down and I found myself in handcuffs. The cops took me to jail and charged me with dealing - I had no one to help so I got a public defender, pleaded guilty to possession and went to jail for a year. I am lucky I went to jail - it saved my life I'm sure - 75% of the guys in there were in for drugs, mostly Meth.
I went to the 12 step meeting because it got me out of the cell block. Most of the guys weren't serious about staying sober but I really was - I just wanted to go back to school and get my dreams back. When I got out I was on probation but they let me back into school and I found a group with lots of people my age in recovery. I also joined a sober outdoor group and I learned to rock climb.
Its been hard to be clean and sober at my age - I have had to really work hard at it, stay close with my sober friends and do my own thing in the outdoors. I will graduate this spring and I am going to go climb in Yosemite as soon as school gets out.