I was always a garbage head. I would do any drug you put in front of me. I never got addicted to any drug until meth because I was too cheap to pay for 'em. I was instantly addicted to meth - at first a quarter a day like clockwork and then 8 balls - and I started selling to pay for mine.
My life instantly got super crazy because meth people are just nuts. I tried to keep away from the meth crowd as much as possible because I didn't want to get ripped off or arrested. I was really alone at that point. I wouldn't go outside during the day for the whole summer. I would only leave my house to hook up or score.
One day my dealer showed me how to smoke it - then I was partying with a nurse and I learned how to slam it.
I quit going to work. I stopped paying my rent. I ripped off my dealer. And then one day the cops came to my door. My life was hell and about to explode in every direction. Clearly I needed to be removed from my situation.
I was done and I came to Colorado for treatment. I got kicked out of treatment and I was homeless and penniless but it didn't matter because I was toast. I was ready and willing to do whatever it took to avoid going back. I felt at peace for the first time in years - and I knew in my heart that I was lucky to escape and that I would need to be very thorough in order to succeed in staying clean - the odds were against me and any half measure at this time would insure that I fail.
I have had to eat a lot of "humble pie" as I have recognized and admitted time and time again that I know very little about how to live effectively in this world. I have learned a lot about myself and have made a good start on getting well by working the 12 steps every year. I am clean and sober 6 years now. I am really into snowboarding and mountaineering - these fill up my time and have made my life really thrilling.